WhiteFlag Team

October 11th marks National Coming Out Day, a celebration of courage, honesty, and the power of living authentically. Coming out is often a challenging and deeply personal journey, and this day serves as a reminder that everyone’s path to self-acceptance is unique. At WhiteFlag, we are honored to have Colton Underwood as our Chief Community Officer. His own experience coming out as gay has inspired countless others to find the strength and support they need, and today we share his reflections on that journey.
Colton’s Journey to Self-Acceptance
For many, including Colton, coming out is a multifaceted experience that affects both mental health and personal well-being. In his own words, Colton describes the importance of recognizing and accepting your own truth before sharing it with others. "You have to come out to yourself first before you come out to anybody else," he emphasizes. This self-acceptance is often the most critical and difficult part of the journey. The internal questions, fears, and doubts can take a toll on mental health, making it essential to find someone trustworthy to share your feelings with once you’re ready.
Colton reflected on how much easier his journey would have been if he'd had access to a supportive, anonymous peer community during his own process of coming out. "It definitely would have saved me a lot of time and changed the way that I was coming out," he says. That’s why WhiteFlag’s mission resonates with him so deeply. He understands how crucial it is for individuals to have a safe, nonjudgmental space to process their feelings, ask questions, and share their truths with people who understand.
Navigating the Emotional Impact of Coming Out
Coming out can be an emotionally intense experience. When Colton first came out, he experienced a mix of emotions—relief, fear, and vulnerability. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when opening up about such a personal aspect of your identity. For Colton, finding support from trusted individuals made all the difference. His advice? "Find a community that you can trust and be supported by, and people who understand what you're going through."
Having access to peer support is invaluable, especially in times of uncertainty. At WhiteFlag, you can find a network of people who have walked similar paths, allowing you to anonymously share your thoughts, ask for advice, and receive the encouragement you need—without judgment.
Advice for Those Struggling to Come Out
Colton’s advice for those struggling to come out is simple but powerful: don’t rush your process. "Work through your own questions in your own coming out process before you even reach out and tell that first person," he advises. The most important thing is to come out at your own pace, when you feel ready and safe. And remember, you don’t have to go through it alone. WhiteFlag is here to provide a safe space where you can connect with others who are on similar journeys, helping you feel less isolated and more supported.
Supporting Loved Ones Through the Coming Out Process
For those whose loved ones are struggling with the coming out process, Colton offers empathy and understanding. He recognizes that not everyone may be receptive when someone they care about comes out, but that doesn’t lessen the importance of being a supportive presence. His advice for loved ones who may be caught off guard or unsure of how to respond? Simply be there. Listen without judgment, show love, and give the person time and space to share their truth on their own terms.
If you’re a loved one who is supporting someone through this vulnerable time, Colton encourages you to be patient. Being supportive doesn’t require you to have all the answers. What matters most is offering a safe, loving environment where they feel comfortable being themselves.
The Importance of Peer Support
As Colton points out, one of the most challenging aspects of coming out is navigating the complexities of identity and self-acceptance alone. But with WhiteFlag, individuals can find the support they need without feeling isolated. "The cool thing is you can find all of that on WhiteFlag," Colton shares, reflecting on how having access to a peer support group could have eased his own journey.
At WhiteFlag, we provide a safe, anonymous platform where individuals can connect with others who share similar experiences. Whether you’re coming out for the first time or have already started the process, WhiteFlag offers a compassionate, understanding community ready to listen and support.
Living Authentically with Support
National Coming Out Day is a powerful reminder that everyone deserves to live their truth, without fear or judgment. For Colton Underwood, his journey has been one of self-acceptance, vulnerability, and finding strength in community. As he shares his experience with WhiteFlag, he hopes to inspire others to take their own steps toward living authentically—knowing they don’t have to do it alone.
If you or someone you know is on this journey, WhiteFlag is here to provide a safe, supportive environment where you can share, listen, and grow. Whether you’re coming out, supporting someone else, or simply seeking a community of understanding, we’re here for you.
To learn more about Colton's story and his reflections on overcoming past struggles, you can read his feature in People Magazine here.
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