Rebecca Hilliard
Guest Blogger
I am a child abuse survivor, and I have struggled with anxiety and panic for as long as I can remember. I held it together as long as I could, but in college, I started falling apart, and things got really dark for me. My struggles with anxiety and panic expanded to self-harm, an eating disorder, and suicidal thoughts. It was like all the pain I was holding inside from the abuse needed to come out, and since I wasn’t talking about it, this was the only way it could.
I was so dissociated from my childhood trauma that I didn’t even know it was the root cause of my struggles with mental illness. All I knew was that things felt so dark and impossible, and I didn’t know why. Along with this came a deep feeling of loneliness because it felt like no one else could understand what I was going through. No one in my life understood my struggles, and even my therapist at the time said he couldn’t help me anymore and ended the relationship. I so badly wished there had been someone I could talk to who had been through something similar, or even a book I could read, or something. I couldn’t find anything, though, so I decided to start my own.
I wrote every day about how I felt, and then I published it so other people who were struggling could know they weren’t alone. It was a small publishing company, though, and the book didn’t get many sales, so I decided to go to social media, and that’s where I found my people. I posted about my experience and what I was struggling with, and other people responded. They shared their stories and talked about their struggles too, and all of a sudden, we weren’t alone anymore. That’s the beauty of finding connection on social media. No one in your life may understand what you’re going through, but there are other people out in the world who do, and now we have a way of connecting with each other.
Sharing our stories with each other can be so healing. We don’t have to ‘fix’ each other or solve each other’s problems—just sharing and listening is enough. When you share your story, whether it’s through a post or with a safe person you’ve found, it can be so healing for both of you. There are so many of us who suffer in silence, who don’t know that other people can understand them. And when they hear our stories or read something we’ve written, all of a sudden, they aren’t alone anymore.
I am nowhere near being healed or recovered from my trauma, but I still share my story. I still share my struggles for other people who are in it too. Because sometimes, we don’t need to hear from someone who has ‘made it to the other side.’ We need to hear from someone who is in the trenches like us, battling for their lives. We need to know that other people are fighting so hard to get through each day like we are. We need to know that we aren’t the only ones suffering. And honestly, for me, hearing from someone who got through to the other side of healing and recovery can be discouraging because it makes me wonder why I’m not there yet when I’m trying so hard.
We can share our stories now, even when we are in the middle of the darkness. Because there are more of us here than we think, and we can support each other together. The power of sharing your story can help others, and that’s exactly what WhiteFlag does—providing a platform where people can connect, share, and find the support they need.
If you want to find me on social media, my account is @inthistogethernow_.
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