Finding My Pride

Dave Frank

Chief Content Officer

I’m pansexual. 

I can’t emphasize the period in that sentence enough, because for the longest time, that’s how it felt to say that phrase. No exclamation points, no confetti on either side of it; just a plain, old, boring fact about me. 

I remember early on in discovering my sexual identity, when I was much, much younger, that I never really understood the point of pride month. What’s the point in being proud of who you’re attracted to? I’d venture to guess that many people outside of the LGBTQ community (and even those opposed to it) have a similar question. 

That was, of course, before. 

Before I learned about the Stonewall uprising in June of 1969. 

Before I learned that very moment in history was co-led by trans women of color.

Before I was old enough to fully understand the weight of detrimental policies against queer people like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, adoption bans and marriage bans.

Before I learned that same-sex intimacy and “cross-dressing” laws existed in our country well into the 1990s and early 2000s. 

Before I learned about the horrors of conversion therapy and conversion camps.

Before I learned how the gay community was virtually ignored during the HIV/AIDS crisis until they took advocacy into their own hands.

Before Pulse.

Before so many things that I learned over time. So many. More than I could ever list in a day, and it still wouldn’t be nearly enough.

But mainly, before I realized how much privilege I had (and have) with my sexuality. I dress fairly plain. I’m covered in what others might call masculine tattoos. I’m a husky, white, cis male. I’m pansexual, but all of the prior statements still remain true. Many would see me say something like that and assume I’m mentioning it as a point of shame, or self-deprecation, which I am not. It’s just a fact. A fact that had kept me ignorant to a great many hardships others endured, in the name of the community I am a part of.

We all learn things. It’s how we grow. And what took me far longer to learn than it should have, is that pride is not about pride in my own sexuality. It is pride in my people. In those before me that fought to simply exist. In those today who still fight to simply exist. In those who marched and march, those who supported and support, those who advocated and advocate, and every single individual who has or will sew themselves into the fabric of this community. This movement.

I take pride in the deep sea of history, community, death, pain, life, love and leadership. Pride in the tightly-woven tapestry of the ever-growing queer community—past, present and future— that allows this part of me to be a plain, old, boring fact.

I am proud of this community. I am proud of what it took to make it what it is. Because of that, I am proud to be who I am. But most of all, I am thankful.

Thank you, to everyone past and present, who makes the LGBTQ+ community what it is. Each and every one of you has a place of pride within me.

_________

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